Rainy days and Wednesdays

Well well well…long time, no see, eh? I apologize for the absence. I worked about 10 hours overtime last week and used Memorial Day to rest. Wicked, I know. I had planned a nice tribute for all the men and women of the armed forces, some of which are family members but I was completely knackered and never got around to it. Again, my apologies.

This morning started out fairly well, isolated storms, notwithstanding. I had an appointment I was looking forward to and even after only 5 hours sleep, I hopped in the tub and was fully prepared to make the 45 minute drive to my appointment. The storms rolled in while I was bathing but I didn’t mind. Kinda nice to hear rain on the roof. (one of my favorite things, actually) The rain had stopped and everything was going smoothly until…I heard a loud “POP!” then the power went out. Aaaaaaand here we go. *sigh*

Since I’m the type to adapt quickly to whatever might be thrown my way, I decided instead of being lame and calling in, I would leave on time, let my hair dry on the way and put on a little eye makeup when I got to my destination. Cool, right? Wrong!! See, about 20 minutes into my drive, it started raining again. Hard. Not so much of a big deal except my windscreen was fogging up so I turned on the defroster, like I would normally do. Didn’t think anything about it. That is, until I heard this horrible noise coming from the motor. What is that?? Maybe it’s just the rain on the wheels or somethin’. Moving on.

So 10 minutes later, I can’t stand the noise anymore and pull into one of those self storage places to see what the problem is. Didn’t seem like I heard the noise if I was stationary. Hmm. Okay, so I pull out and head down the road. Only every time I hit the gas, I hear that stupid noise again. For cryin’ out loud in a bucket, what fresh hell is thisnow?? I made it to the local Quik-Trip, wheeled in and had another look. By this time, I was getting uber frustrated and the clock is ticking. There was no WAY I was making it to my appointment by 10:30am ( I left my house at 9:30, FYI). Once more, I pulled out onto the street, in search of an Auto Zone to get some transmission fluid, which I thought would fix the problem. I creeped on down the road til I found it, parked and asked for some help from one of the guys inside.

After several minutes, we figured out what the problem was. You see, last week the a/c compressor went out so I’ve been driving to work in 90 degree weather with no air conditioning. Not so bad, really because at least I have a way to work, right? The problem today was that when I turned on the defroster to clear the window, it made the compressor kick in and THAT’S what the horrible noise was. Whew!! Nothing major, thank goodness. I had already called and cancelled my appointment but there’s more to the story than that.

Between my stop at the storage place and my stop at Auto Zone, I had been driving down the road, utterly frustrated because I couldn’t make my appointment on time and had no clue what was wrong with the car. And I hate being late for anything. So as I was rollin’ down the road, my frustration got the better of me and I was screaming at God “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?? WHY?? WHAT HAVE I NOT DONE TO MAKE YOU DO THIS TO ME??” And when I say I was screaming,  I mean top-of-your-lungs-my-throat-still-hurts kind of screaming.

When the nice gentleman at Auto Zone figured out what my problem was, I felt like such an idiot. Like a baker’s dozen of idiots. I had yelled at God for no good reason because I couldn’t get to my appointment on time and because I had an issue with my car that was unknown and unsettling to me. I mean, how stupid is that? Well, after I left the parts store, I knew I had to blog about it and so here I am, at the local library, writing my latest post and still feeling like a complete bonehead for yelling at the Almighty when I should have just slowed my roll til I found out what the source of my consternation might be.

But this is why we’re human and not Divine. We’re fallible and loud, boisterous and crazy, whiny and petulant and a bunch of other things too numerous to mention. If I take anything from my trying morning, it’s this: just have faith that everything will work out as it should and be patient. We’ve become a society of “I want it yesterday” and “why won’t this page load??” and forget that not so long ago, we didn’t have these luxuries. Even the idea of a combo meal hasn’t been around forever, just so you know.

As I sit here and look out the window, the torrential rain that began as I made my way here to the library has since stopped. I can see the sky is still dark in some spots but it delivered us some much needed rain. The cool thing about rain is that is washes away  dirt and other unnecessary items and helps things grow. So if we were being philosophical (and we…I mean, I am) we could say that God is the rain the helps wash away what we don’t need and helps to grow the things we do need.

People, I’ve struggled terribly thinking maybe I’m a fraud in that I can pontificate all I want to about God but I’m not a very good servant. My cousin Gin reminded me that “the heart is willing but the flesh is weak”.  Yeah, I guess you could say that. Here lately, I’ve come to the realization that I have the right balance of what I need. So maybe I don’t go to church as often as a lot of folks and hey, I don’t read my Bible much either. But guess what? I still understand what it means to be God-fearing. I still know that regardless of the fact that I like dirty jokes and anger makes me spout profanity, I’m forgiven for all my sins. Am I getting preachy? No, not really. Just tired of dragging this around with me like an old piece of gum in grandma’s purse. I did something stupid today but I learned from it.

Here it is in a nutshell: rainy days and Wednesdays don’t get me down. Frustrated? Yes, but not down. That would be an admission of defeat and that ain’t how I roll y’all. I like me just fine and from this day forward, I make no apologies for being me. You  like me or you don’t. Either way, I’m cool and I know the Big Man has got my back.

Time for me to feed my rumbly tummy kids, so I’ll take my leave. No pictures today but maybe next time.

Update: the issue came back on my way home from work but instead of letting it get to me, I opted to say a prayer so I would make it home safely, without incident and without my car falling apart on the road. Oh and one more thing…I didn’t mean to end my post sounding like a complete tool. I only meant that sometimes, I need to scream and let it out. It shouldn’t have been directed at God but as I said, we’re human. My little hissy fit has been coming for a long time now and unfortunately, I projected my frustrations where they should not have gone. Had to clear that up.     : )


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. kathie Truitt
    Jun 01, 2012 @ 10:23:59

    Please forgive me as I laugh OUT LOUD. No, I’m not gloating over your misfortunes. Not at all. It’s just that the way you look at things is so refreshing. So, so….dang it, I can’t think of any other word but ‘refreshing.’
    I just love you and thank you for being you! And sweetheart, you ‘pontificate’ beautifully.


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