Let it rain

Well, it’s a cold and rainy day here in the ol’ Lone Star State but that don’t bother me none, as they say. Good day to stay in, have a cuppa tea and work on my manuscript, amidst the noise of the rain on the roof and the critters I hear scratching around under the roof. I must admit, I’ve been avoiding it like the plague lately and if you even THINK writer’s block is all BS, I assure you, it’s not. Revisiting places you’d rather not go completely sucks but it’s such an overwhelming task, you’re kinda like a dog chasing your tail, y’know?

I guess the new credo regarding my writing is WWKD…”what would Kathie do?” (meaning my lovely friend Kathie Truitt, of course!) She probably wouldn’t want me to think like that but the only other author friend I have is the fabulous Marley Gibson and since she recently got married to the equally fabulous Patrick Burns (paranormal investigator extraordinaire), I don’t EVEN want to bother the newlywed couple. By the way, if you haven’t heard, Kathie’s
new book, “The Hillbilly Debutante Cafe” will be released some time in March of 2012 but you can purchase directly from Kathie. Check out her Facebook page (Kathie Truitt Author Fan Page) and let her know you want one. It’s as close to pre-order as you can get!

At the moment, the rain has take a reprieve…of sorts, so all is quiet on the Southern front and I’m enjoying a nice, hot French Dip sammie. Homemade, of course. Which brings me to my subject matter: zipping one’s lip when really, you want to be so honest you leave your recipient speechless, their mouth agape. That’s pretty much where I am now. Although my whole mood shift started with my mother in law simply walking into the kitchen, this need to go introspective  has been coming for a long while.

Let me back up a bit; I was sauteeing the mushrooms for our sammies when she came over, looked in the skillet but said nothing. So I spoke up and said “What?”  She said “Nothing, just looked kinda juicy, that’s all.” And I told her it was due to the butter/olive oil but I would let them reduce down.  The other benign issue was when I put the sammies in the toaster oven. She likes her swiss on the bottom and meat on top, that’s what she told me, because the roast beef she gets at the deli is a tad too rare for her and this way, the meat cooks more well done. However, when it came out, the top of the bun was a little too crisp and she mentioned that she likes her cheese on the top. Uh, what?? Did I miss something? I hadn’t put mine in to toast yet so I offered it to her and I would take the crusty sammie. But she didn’t respond…at all.  She had wanted the cheese on the top of the BUN and the meat on the bottom, so the meat would cook more and the cheese would keep from the to half of the bun from getting too crispy, which is exactly what happened.

In and of itself, those two…incidents aren’t much. But for whatever reason, I felt myself getting irritated for the umpteenth time. Lately, it isn’t just things like that but a myriad of emotions and…well, all sorts of things. December typically doesn’t start out good for me anyway but the fact that I have so much on my mind only compounds it.  Ten years ago this month, my mother passed away. We buried her right before Christmas and while I was at peace with it, that doesn’t change the fact that I miss her. With so many things happening in my life right now, I wish I could call her up and tell her about it. That’ll never happen so I can’t.  I’m terribly frustrated about my situation and though this blog is where I fuss about it most,  I’m trying to avoid that these days. Seems everywhere one looks, there’s chaos and I certainly don’t want to add to it.

That being said, here’s what I will do:  spend some time getting my head together, work my tail off and go permanent at my new job, write like a madwoman and pray…a lot.  All these things I will do in Apartment 1-A, my little hidey-hole here at home. While my church attendance has been sporadic, the reason is purely economic; low on petrol and money. Though a wonderful member from church offered to come pick me up, I have yet to take her up on the offer. In truth, it’s partly because I’m embarrassed by where I live but mostly, I’m fiercely independent and have a hard time asking and accepting help.  As has been my personality over the years, I’ve not kept my emotional turmoil bottled up rather, I have a fantastic bit of software called LifeJournal and it’s helped me a great deal.  So my church attendance will continue to be very sporadic because I need the time alone. Most of my Christian friends and new church family would tell me the opposite but I know myself pretty well and trust me, I need to be alone here for a while.

Kathie, if you read this, I’m sorry if I disappoint you with the church thing. Just say a prayer for me, as I will do for myself. I’m a complex and sometimes complicated person y’all but I promise I’ll get myself together if you’ll promise to keep reading my blog.  I may not post for a while but I wanted you to know why. With that, I’ll take my leave and say thank you for being so supportive and I truly appreciate each and every one of you who reads my drivel.  LOL    Y’all are the best!!

Until next time…

   & hair grease, y’all!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kathie Truitt
    Dec 16, 2011 @ 22:19:10

    I remember your mother. She was such a pretty redhead! Heck no, I’m not disappointed. If you’re home in your room pull out your Bible and there’s your church right there.

    Reply

  2. randomlady65
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 13:38:23

    Absolutely LOVED my mom to bits, as my UK friends would say. I have a Bible on my nightstand so all I have to do sometimes is just hold it and I know I’ll be okay. Most of the time, I close my eyes and do my “pillow talk” prayer or on the way home from work, when it’s dark, the city lights are twinkling and it’s just me and God (and the local jazz station). I know prayers are answered because I prayed for God to speak to my son’s heart. Lo and behold, he cleaned his room! Took him 6 hrs. but still…lol.

    Reply

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