The good, the bad and the broke

Hey y’all…I’m back. Been a very long week. Well, two weeks actually but who’s counting? Anyway, I’ve made it through the first week of training without my head spinning around and vomiting pea soup but there’s still the rest of this week yet. lol

Seriously though, it’s a lot of information to process, some of which doesn’t even apply to us. That’s how important customer service is to this company so I appreciate the heck outta that. The good thing is, I have a job now…temporary status notwithstanding. The bad thing is, I won’t receive my first payroll deposit until 11/22. *siiiiiiggggghhhhh*

As of yesterday, I had about $50 in my account but was still looking at petrol for the car I borrowed from my husband (it’s a piece of crap but it’s better for driving distances) to get to the training classes and then of course, VanDamn, which is what I’ll be driving to my actual job. With the price of petrol rising almost 10 cents in a matter of 2 hours, this won’t be easy. Now, added to that, I’m trying to help my son take care of an old ticket and the last task for that is to order his driving record for $12. Shouldn’t be a problem, right? Wrong! There wasn’t a whole heckuva lot of stuff in the fridge to eat so I took my happy butt to the local Albertsons and got some deli sliced chicken, BBQ kettle chips and a few cans of good ol’ Chef Boyardee pasta (well, it was the store brand but same thing essentially) and came back home. So why the frustration? Let me explain:

When you drive a vehicle with a fuel pump, you have to be sure you have at least 1/4 tank of petrol so you don’t burn up the fuel pump, thereby causing yourself extra money and worry you could have avoided. So when I got the Pew-ick (my funny name for my husband’s car, a Buick) back home and saw the fuel needle down to 1/4 tank…well it was frustrating and kinda pissed me off because I knew I’d catch a ration of you-know-what from my mother in law for not having more petrol in the tank if it runs below that amount.  It’s quite a drive to my training class so I try to be careful and even hyper-mile when I can. That consists of using hills to one’s advantage by way of the momentum you build up on the way down. I actually cruised from one street light to the next on the way home last week. That’s what started the whole argument over the petrol with my mother in law. See, technically, she’s the owner of the car but I believe she bought it strictly for my husband, since my SUV is farkakte and that only left VanDamn for two of us to share. The Pew-ick is a 1988 model and by NO means is it nice. It looks like a science experiment, which is why I christened it with that name.

So anyway, I get home and I’m very angry at the thought of not having enough funds to do what I need to do. Admittedly, I got bitchy with the people around me, but hey, I’m human and I can’t keep all my frustrations bottled up y’know? My mother in law, being the kind of person she is, goes to her bank and comes back with $100 so I can put petrol in the car for the next two days, as well as VanDamn for next week. When my payroll is depostied, I simply pay her back the portion I’ve used. Believe me, I don’t intend on using any more than I have to. lol   I absolutely HATE being broke and what I’ve just told you is part of the reason why. I don’t want to rely on ANYone so it frustrates the fire outta me that I’m forced to do so. The kids help the parents…that’s how it works, not the other way around. I’m grateful for the assistance, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a pride and independence kinda thing with me. Daddy always said not to count on someone else’s income so I haven’t. Well, not with the husband’s income anyway.

So now I can get to church service this Sat. night and apparently, I need it too. It keeps me grounded, happier and as of Monday, my renewed spirituality got me completely off Zoloft for the first time in 6 yrs. That’s a good thing. Trust me when I tell you, it ain’t easy putting all my personal business out here on the internet but I feel I have to. If just one person can relate or have their spirits lifted by the fact that I’m in one mell of a hess too (a phrase mama used to use), then I’m happy knowing they’re not alone and they can have a kinship with someone they’ve never met. This is mondo good therapy for me as well as practice at writing. I’ve been using my index cards to make notes on at work during breaks and dinner break so that when I sit down to work/finish my auto-bio manuscript, all I have to do is look at the cards and let the memories flow. As my lovely, sweet friend and Girl Posse member Kathie says “Writing isn’t for wussies!” She is SO right on!

Welp, gotta go get ready for work. Be good to each other and remember:  The glass is half full…always!  

Until next time…   & hair grease, y’all!!


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