I am woman…hear me kvetch!!

I know I said I would be less negative and more positive and for the most part, I try to be. However, there are just some days where no matter what you do, you feel the urge to mash the button-that-must-not-be-mashed and go nuclear. Yes, I fully realize that in those instances, I should turn to my Bible and read away the anger. Here’s why I don’t: it can’t always soothe the venemous vortex begging to be unleashed. Mind you, I’ve become very good at replacing curse words with creative, yet expressive alternatives. But holding all these emotions in is a bit like passing wind in a full body wetsuit; bad form and potentially hazardous to one’s health. Observe…

See what I mean?? Sometimes, it’s just not good to hold things in. With that, my intent is to list all the things, instances, phrases or whatever irritating-ness that’s taken over my body today and blurt them in true Random fashion, because not only is it my right, it is my prerogative as a female; postmenopausal, at that. Ahhhh…love the smell of First Amendment in the afternoon. Right. So here we go…

No, I did not get up on the wrong side of the bed. I react to how people treat me.

Yes, I’m aware of how difficult things are. But you’re yelling doesn’t change what already exists. 

If you don’t think you can address anyone with even a speck of kindness, then zip your lip and say nothing.

No, I am not your personal ATM, taxi service, soothsayer,  fashion expert, bookkeeper, chef or personal assitant.

 If there’s something you need, ASK. I’m also not on your psychic friends network

I’m not your emotional scratching post…take it outside.

I heard you the first time okay? It doesn’t need 31 flavors of repeating.

No ‘see’ food. I know what I cooked.

Dirty clothes go in the hamper to be washed. You snooze, you lose. (and you get to stink )

If you drink my last Coke Classic, you better be prepared. That Coke is not the only can being opened…

Yes, I know you’re hungry. Holding the fridge door open won’t make something magically appear though. Could you maybe refill the ice bucket and then the trays while you’re there?

If I don’t overthink or pay attention to details, our ‘life machine’ will slip a cog and throw everything off balance, resulting in misery for me, which then translates as misery for you.

My bathroom has become my sanctuary and peaceful retreat. Don’t ruin it by trying to talk to me through the door.

Why yes, as a matter of fact, I do need to ask that strange woman where she got her shoes/bag/clothes! It’s a chick thing…you wouldn’t understand.

For the record, I do not gripe about everything. Just the things you’ve ignored that I refuse to remind you of. I don’t chew my cabbage twice.

I’m not too old to bounce  to some kickin’ jams on your subs. So there!   

Don’t be a ‘hater’ because I like to wake up and find joy in my day. Don’t ridicule me because of it either.

I like being different and I embrace it. Who wants to be like everybody else?? 

I don’t need to be put on a pedestal, but a little validation and acknowledgement would be nice every now & then.

I love you guys and you know that…but y’all really work my last nerve sometimes!

Okay, well, I feel better now. I totally appreciate you guys for letting me vent a bit. It isn’t always easy to live with family and it’s perfectly normal to not like them at times, even if you love them. The main thing here is that you know I do love my family. But honey, it’s time for this little birdy to leave the nest. I could lay blame on the ex, his mother, my son, the dogs (kidding. the dogs can do no wrong) for my wanting to leave but ultimately, I believe I’m at a point in my life (as most women my age are prone to be) where I’ve raised the kid and the husband and just want a slice of life all for little ol’ me. I want to be able to wake up to the sun coming thru the window and do the Snow White, dance-around-the-room-with-the-bluebird thing, y’know? It may sound corny but even as I was typing this post, my trusty little French bulldog Sassy was on her big pink pillow, laid her little head on my arm and looked up at me with those HUGE brown eyes as if to say “I love you, mom.” I just looked at her and said “I love you too Sassy-girl.”  Now I ask you, what could be wrong with wanting a lot more of that on a daily??

So I’ve come to the end of my post and will say my usual…Peace, Love & hair grease y’all!  Here’s a little Maxine to make you smile.