My one-sided phone call to God

As most of you already know, my life is very much like a rollercoaster and likely will be for a while yet. I thoroughly enjoyed my brief holiday in Omaha and got to see relatives I’ve not seen in 28 years. Only been back for three days now but for whatever reason, I feel a shift in the air so this post is how I’ll deal with it. Nothing has changed except my determination to move on and begin life on my own for the first time. It’s much stronger but I still need a little “atta girl” every now and then. Talking to God can be done any place and at any time so if you would, please allow me to indulge and stretch my imagination a scoche.   ; )

Hello? Hey…God, are you there?  Hello? Let me adjust my cell phone. You know how horsey they can be…just a sec.

Okay. Can you hear me now? Good!

No, I think it’s kind of a delay thing, like when you call overseas. This IS a pretty long distance call y’know! LOL

I’m doin’ okay. Well…I could do better but that’s why I’m calling. Since my parents are with you, and you’re my Father anyway, I figured it made more sense to ask for you instead. You are the Man with the Plan, after all! 

Yes, the flight to Omaha was great, thanks.  I spent lots of time looking out the window of the plane and admiring your creation. Looks like a great big patchwork quilt but very nicely constructed. Kudos!

Listen, the reason I’m calling is because…

What’s that? Oh! Well, it was nice to see you in church last Sunday as well! It’s been quite some time since I’ve made the effort but I know you’re always with me, no matter where I go. 

You’re absolutely right, that’s no excuse for not going. Will you forgive me?

LOL  Duh! is right. He DID die for me but I had to be courteous and ask anyway. I said I was your child but I never said I was the smartest child!  heehee. You blessed me with a sense of humor, what can I say?

Aaaaanyhoo, I was calling because ever since I got back late Monday night, I’ve felt out of place and it’s not just because of the phone bill issue either, though that didn’t help. No, it’s more than that.

Maybe I’m simply not perceiving things as they truly are but I feel rather unappreciated and definitely not loved. I mean, I know my son is just a teenager and they can be a real pain sometimes but once in a while, it’s nice to hear those three little words. Even a “thanks mom” would be cool but apparently, he’s got too much knockin’ around that melon of his to eke out a speck of gratitude, ’cause I get bupkis from that kid! I take that back…I get manners (or a close facsimile thereof) when I’ve got money. Good grief!

As for the future ex-husband, I try not to bother him at all because he’s too busy with his internet broadcasting…thing to take off that stupid headset and when he does, he slides it off one ear so he can hear whatever it is we ask or have to say. He goes right back to what he’s doing.

No, I don’t expect his constant attention in light of our impending marital dissolution but for the love of Mike, I DO expect him to act like he gives a rat’s butt (Lord, I apologize) about the people he shares a house with! That’s just common courtesy. Least ways, that’s how my parents raised me but perhaps I’m wrong.

I know I get a little snippy from time to time and let my potty mouth take over but I’m really trying to improve that. What really chaps my hide is when I try to say something as nicely and politely as I can and then I get a short, curt answer. Why? What the heezy did I do? It’s like I can’t say anyTHING to anyONE, no matter how hard I try. Really makes me want to throw a shoe at their heads!!

I’m sorry…didn’t quite catch that. Say again?

No, that isn’t very Christ-like. You wanted me to be honest so I thought…well, I thought I should be VERY honest. You know what’s in my heart anyway, right? Well there you go!

The other thing that bothers me is my mother in law.

Are you supposed to be giggling about mother in laws? 

Well that’s true…you are the Almighty so I reckon you’re entitled. 

Hey, as long as we’re at it, is it okay if I picture you as Morgan Freeman?

I know you get that a lot but it’s a silly human thing. We need to visualize. Sorry dude. Wait!…can I call you dude?? I mean no disrespect.

Whew!  Glad you can be such a laid back guy. I’d fist-bump ya but…

Anyway, about my mother in law: you and I both know she hasn’t had an easy life and I get that. What I DON’T get is why she feels she has to hang on to all that old, painful baggage and make the rest of us miserable because SHE was miserable. I mean, I tell her I love her (yes, I can be ambivalent about that) and try to give her hugs every now and then but she can’t even tell me she loves me back. Seriously, what is THAT about??

See, that’s the thing. I HAVE tried to be patient with her. I’ve tried to be as supportive of her as her son and honey, I’ve been around her for 18 of the almost 20 years I’ve known her!  What gives, dude?? Is she so used to not getting love and encouragement that she doesn’t know how to RECEIVE it?

Well if she doesn’t learn, she’s gonna be old and alone when it’s time for her to “go” and I’d hate for that to happen. Shoot! Even my daddy came to You before he passed and you KNOW how stubborn he was! 

Thing is Lord, we all just want validation. It’s part of our human nature. Kids seek parental approval for theirs, we find it from our employers, spouses or significant others…

Yep! We find it from our friends too, that’s true.

What I’m trying to say here is that for once, it would be nice if I got a polite response to a question, an ‘I love you too’ when I tell my mother in law or even a sweaty hug from my son, for no reason at all. What happened to spontaneity with the huggy-lovey stuff? Are we too busy scheduling soccer games, play dates or a night out with friends that we can’t be spur-of-the-moment? Why can’t we just be happy to wake up and be alive? ‘Cause I gotta tell ya, I feel like I’m on that island all by myself here, dude. 

Aww, that’s very kind of you! Thank you! I’ve always felt like a bubbly person. Think the dimples are a dead giveaway too. LOL I try to “let go and let…You” but it sure ain’t easy. I suppose the best I can do is just say a prayer for myself and the ones I love…

What’s that?

*sigh* Yes, I’ll pray for the ones I DON’T love too. Guess everyone needs a little shout-out to You, regardless.

Well, I better sign off and get back to organizing my life a little better. You may be omnipotent but I know you’re busy. Sure was good talkin’ to ya!  Seems like I go too long without callin’ You but I certainly will make the effort more often.

Oh I will! Take care of myself, that is. Say ‘howdy’ to my parents and take good care of Retha Kay, alright? She just got there a couple days ago so she’ll need a Heavenly tour guide. I’ll post a picture I took from the plane. It just reminds me of You and I thought you might enjoy it. Pass it around if you want.

Yeah, faith always gets me through. I am my mother’s daughter! LOL

Okay, love you too! Bye! 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: