If you want something done, you gotta do it yourself

“We are living in a DIY world and I am a DIY girl…”

Yes, I ripped off Madonna but the way I phrased the glommed lyrics, they’re apropos.  I’m referring, of course, to my divorce papers. Hallelujah that Texas allows one to handle their own divorce, hence the DIY reference. My bestie Kat sent the the pdf format so all I had to do was copy/paste into a Word document and voila! And might I say that I was gleefully enjoying a Guinness lager whilst formatting the documents?  Now, lest you think I’m being a typical hater divorcee…

  Let me ‘splain, Lucy:

Have you ever been frustrated over life  going all Murphy’s Law and you wonder “When do I get my chance? What am I not doing right?” If you’ve read older posts,  you’ll know I’m not always Mary Sunshine, full of hope. Please believe I’ve had many days (especially lately) where I’m either pissed off at my son (commonly) or depressed about my situation. But just when I think I’m destined to lay in my bed sighing about things I have no control over, a little voice pops into my head and lets me know that something good is around the corner and I should be patient. In my humble opinion, that’s the voice of God telling me that okay, yeah, I should probably go to church and have fellowship with his faithful followers and I need to work on my potty mouth, etc., etc. But He’s also telling me that He doesn’t think I’m quite ready for the blessings He will bestow upon me.

This is how I’ve held onto my dreams for the past 20 odd years: faith that God would let me know when it was time to start living for me and not someone else. I don’t mean that in a selfish way but speaking as a wife and mother, we have a tendency to put ourselves last while we take care of everyone else around us. Which brings me to my ‘splainin’. Although God doesn’t approve of divorce (I don’t think), I’m quite sure He’s hip enough to realize that if two people cannot agree and no longer want to be together, then it would be an abomination of the sanctity of marriage to hang on for propriety’s sake, religion notwithstanding.

That being said, I feel that once I’m officially divorced of my situation, I’ll no longer feel the weight of it on my shoulders and can move forward in my life knowing I did the best I could the past 19 years. When I let go of all that, then I think the blessings will come because I’m emotionally prepared to receive them. My wise friend Gleeby told me once ‘God may not be on time, but He’s never late!’ Amen sister! Which is why I said “gleefully” enjoying a Guinness lager. Once I file those divorce papers, I’ll begin to have that formal separation both legally and mentally and I’ll be able to move on. Divorce is not a good thing and I don’t condone it. But by the same token,  I don’t believe in staying with your spouse if you both know in your heart that it’s over. Well, there is that trust issue too. I can’t be with someone I don’t trust. Seen that movie too many times before…no bueno.

I have no earthly idea what my life will bring post-divorce. I only know that I feel it’s my time to shine and I’ve waited long enough. My faith is the strongest it’s ever been and I’m confident in who I am and what I can be. And honey, if I can prepare a deed to remove a Trust or a Special Warranty Deed as an escrow assistant, then I can sure as heck prepare my own Petition for Divorce! I’m looking forward to a life on my own, for the very first time and to see what I can accomplish when given the opportunity. Until next time…

& hair grease, y’all!!!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: