Getting my sea legs

Well my friends, I think I’ve finally gotten my sea legs…so to speak. My ex has found another someone to spend time with and this one is local (thank God). They went out to dinner about a week ago and briefly popped back home for a bit. She’s about the same age as me, wears glasses (like me, when my contacts aren’t in) and is a musician. She has a wonderfully smoky voice and is quite a good singer. The ex played me  a bit of a Patsy Cline tune she sang and I was impressed. However, she prefers jazz, which is odd because I listen to jazz alot these days.

Anyway, she came over this evening with her computer to do…well, whatever she and the ex were going to do in their virtual online game thingy. But then after a couple hours, they opened a bottle of wine (he doesn’t drink the stuff) and went to his room to chill out and watch some telly, door closed to keep the dogs out. Well that’s completely cool with me and all because really, what the heck should I have to say about it? Okay, well yeah, I could say something but no need. She seems to be a cool person and I’m happy for them both. (she’s living with her ex too, since she just moved back here from VA)

Funny thing is, even after all that has transpired the past year or so, I’m still a bit wobbly in regard to him being with someone else.  Let me rephrase that: I’m a bit wobbly being in the same house while he’s with someone else. Guess that’s to be expected when you spend almost 19 years with a person. I feel a little “odd man out”-ish but mostly, I’m hoping they don’t decide to get to know each other…how should I put this?…biblically. He already told me after their last date they didn’t want to cheapen their friendship by getting intimate, but hey, he is a man after all. I don’t know y’all…I suppose the difference between he and I is that even having to share the same house as we do, I would NEVER bring someone here. He keeps telling me he’d be just as congenial and polite as I am, should I ever find a new flame but I still think he’d have a bit of a twinge in the ol’ gut. Or not…who knows?

Here’s what I’ve learned: it’s okay to feel melancholy or anger but then you suck it up and move on.  I’m fully aware that I may be one of the few, rare females that can actually live with the man she’s divorcing while making acquaintance with the woman her ex is “dating”. It’s just not worth the health risk to be mopey or pissed off all the time. Takes too much energy y’all and I’ve got goals to achieve. Anger and depression will make me lose focus and since I’ve already raised my son and his father (heehee), it’s my turn to focus on me. Unless there is irreparable damage to the relationship between you and your ex, you’ll both be much happier and healthier if you forge ahead and not dredge up the past, if at all possible. I’m pretty sure your relatives will appreciate the gesture as well.

Life is too short to be a butthole all the time, my friends. It can cause you to be alone and unfulfilled at the end of your life…and no one needs that. Til next time, here are some words of wisdom…


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Autoverzekeringsmaatschappijen
    Jan 25, 2011 @ 17:46:23

    wow. I never thought about this in that way


  2. Autoverzekeringsmaatschappijen
    Jan 26, 2011 @ 02:20:07

    you are good. write more


  3. akwaria
    Feb 02, 2011 @ 01:39:11

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    Feb 08, 2011 @ 08:52:08

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