NEVER check your appearance in vending machine glass because it’s like a funhouse mirror; I didn’t think my butt could look any bigger…apparently, it can.

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Jeggings?? Jorts?? WEBINAR??? Whoever you are, STOP making up new words!! Be “green” and recycle ones that already exist and make sense.

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Fatback should be soul food…not what you see when you take your shirt off.

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Say what you mean and mean what you say…just don’t be mean when you’re sayin’ it

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If he seems too good to be true, he probably is

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You know it’s time to hit the gym when your britches whistle…and you’re not wearing corduroy.

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Probably a good idea to keep a Nerf ball handy…a Ticonderoga #2 pencil would likely hurt your teenager when tossed sharp end first

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. kathie Truitt
    Dec 05, 2010 @ 12:21:11

    Words of wisdom – AMEN to everything you just said.

    Reply

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