The Single Life

Greetings, my friends, on this semi-overcast, almost Spring day! I guess I’m not really too excited about it, so perhaps I shouldn’t have used that particular punctuation mark. In truth, I feel rather ‘meh’ today. I actually got up in time to watch CBS Sunday Morning and then had a nice little breakfast of Spam & scrambled eggs with rice. (hey, don’t knock it ’til you try it!)

I have no real plans for today, other than a hot date with my dirty laundry. Yeah, I like to live on the edge, people. See, that’s the thing; I actually DO have lots of ideas but no way to put them into action. What I mean by that is I have no money…dinero; cash, cheese, flow, skrilla. Oh, I know there are some things that don’t require money but I’m also conserving on my petrol as well. When one lives paycheck to paycheck, one tends to think a tad more frugally. That would be me.

I love to be outside, even if it’s cloudy. I’m a nature girl. But I like to go places and see things. There is a whole lot of Texas I haven’t even seen yet and I’ve been here for quite a while. (it IS a pretty big state) In my mind, the weekend begins on Friday and ends on Sunday evening. That gives a person enough time to clock out at 5 on Friday, toss a few clothes in a duffel bag and see where the road takes you. When Sunday rolls around, you high-tail it back home by 4 or 5pm, in plenty of time to wash your dirty laundry, grab a bite to eat and watch a little telly before you hit the sheets for a good rest before Monday morning. And then, you wait all week long until Friday comes around again.

Only that didn’t happen for me. I came home after work on Friday, read an e-book on my tablet and then went to bed by 11pm. And Saturday? Well…this is how I spent my Saturday evening…

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Sad, ain’t it? After dinner, I finished the Red Velvet and uncorked the Pink Moscato, all sipped and enjoyed enthusiastically from my lovely camo wine goblet I got for my 50th birthday in February. (incidentally, the Moscato is delish!) I got to live vicariously through my son, who sent me pics and short videos of the DJ he went to see with his friends at some EDM club in Dallas. I have to admit, it was rather nice to at least be at home, so if I got tired, I could lay down and switch off the light. But then I was lucky enough to text back and forth with my bestie and do a bit of catching up. Yes, we could have called each other but I don’t mind the texts. It’s like re-reading a letter that makes you smile so I quite enjoyed our electronic conversation. Oh, but it gets better. Because we are such good friends and love each other, warts and all (mostly MY warts), she was quite okay with the wine-buzzed selfie I sent her…

20150314_203531Egad, I CAN’T believe I did that!! *sigh* I mean, that’s something you do when you’re in your 20s and it’s considered normal and pretty much accepted, not when you’re 50!! Maybe if I had been at a restaurant, having dinner and drinks with friends, at least I could keep my cool points. Oy…the things one does when buzzed and bored.

Not to worry though. I don’t intend to be a pathetic single lady for long. Now that I have my own transportation, I plan on finding some cheap and simple ways to be a part of life and not watch it pass me by. There is a lake close by, after all and even a beach not far from my house. If it’s country scenery I want, that’s pretty near as well. The way I see it, I can check out a map of places close to home that might be interesting and come up with an itinerary and small budget to make it happen. I may have to postpone renting a cabin by the lake for a while but it’s still on my list of things to do. Hmm…maybe I should start a Bucket List. They’ve become a tad cliche but it’s actually a very good idea. I think actually putting pen to paper and making a physical list we can keep in a safe place gives us purpose as well. I think we humans like to have something tangible like that. It’s a set of goals, as it were, and once we’ve accomplished one thing, we mark it off the list and move on to the next. Yep, that’s what I’m a-gonna do!

So don’t cry for me, Argentina. I may have a sad single life now but I’m going to do my darndest to change that! May take me a while but rest assured, I will share those things with you because you’re all a part of my life and it wouldn’t be right not to.

And now…on to some books, Netflix and maybe a ham sammich with a Coke…

Laters!!!

 

Spring fever Sunday

What a FABulous day in North Texas!! We had a little cold front on Thursday but today? Low 70s and sunny. In February even!! Just one of the reasons I love living in the Lone Star state. Lest you think me a heartless wench, I should tell you that I spent part of my childhood in Omaha, Nebraska and vividly remember walking to primary school with 3 and 4 ft. snowdrifts beside me. So, while I do have complete empathy for the folks in the North and North East regions of the US, you’ll forgive me if I “high side” a little over these Spring-like temps.

Although it has been a beautiful day and perfect for heading to the lake for a boat ride, I did no such thing. Nope…I stayed right here and decided to have a beer or 2 and give myself a pedicure.

toes

There’s just something about a warm, sunny day that inspires me to do that. Guess I’m just too redneck, who knows? It wasn’t completely non-productive, though. I finished manuscript #1 and suffered though a few bug bites while doing so. Good thing I keep hydrocortisone cream in my “writer’s bag”, huh?

My son, however, did go to the lake to hang out with a friend who has a houseboat. (lucky friend) That’s okay, though because Spring is right around the corner. I can smell it. Time to think about a little writer’s getaway to a cabin by the lake. Yep…just me, a little grub, a couple brewski’s and wide open spaces. I’ll find a way to make it happen. Until then, here’s some Lone Star sunset for ya. God Bless Texas…

sunset

Aaaaand I’m back!

Yes, I still have a pulse and no, I have not abandoned my blog. Sure seems like it though, huh? I mean, after a…ahem…”sabbatical” of 13 months…well, I’m sure it appeared that I just gave up. SO not the case, I assure you.

You may or may not remember that way back in 2012, I posted that when my son’s iTunes app updated on my laptop (which I graciously allowed him to use), it wasn’t compatible with other apps in my system and so it crashed. Couldn’t even turn it on. I was miffed but what can you do? At the time, I was in a contract position so I didn’t really have the extra funds to have it repaired. Fast forward to Christmas 2014 and my Facebook post about “slip a laptop under the tree, for me…” to the tune of Eartha Kitt’s “Santa Baby”. One of my friends posted that she had one she didn’t use. I passed because I thought I would be able to save enough for a new one. Wrong.

Now we come to January and my friend messages me and tells me the laptop is mine if I want it, I just need to come by and see if it will work for me. And so I did, it does and the price was right! When I went to pick it up, she said she figured it  was so I could continue writing and she would be correct. She is such an angel and I appreciate her so very much. Thank you, D.R.!!

I”m still working the same full time, permanent job I posted about back in 2013 so that is a BIG plus. In February of 2014 though, I had to say goodbye to my sweet Sassy-girl, whose image you see in the ‘About Me’ heading in my blog menu. She had suffered from a series of seizures very early one morning and I couldn’t bear to see her suffer, so I took her to the vet and asked to have her put to sleep. It was a very hard thing to do and I sobbed so hard but I know it was the right thing. She just couldn’t stay with me anymore. She had Cushing’s disease and I was trying to save the money to pay for a complete blood panel to confirm that. Unfortunately, she succumbed before I could have that done. I must say though, that she lived quite a long, good life for a French bulldog. Their life span is usually 10-11 years and she was just a couple weeks shy of 12. I miss her but grateful for the years I had with her. She was an immediate mood lifter and could always calm me better than any medication a doctor could give. The Boston terrier, Roadie (the family pet but really, my ex’s dog) is still managing well, though I think he was a tad depressed because his little buddy was gone. He will be 12 in April so I’m hoping he stays with us a while longer. I do love that sweet face of his…

snug roadie

 

I still don’t have a flat of my own but I have faith that 2015 will bring something good, whatever that may be. Meanwhile, I’m over the moon that I can finally type my fist manuscript and get it format-ready for a publisher. I just have a chapter to go and that’s it!! Already have a fiction story started and another one fleshed out, plus an idea for a series.  I haven’t quite figured out the series subject and/or its characters but now that I have a faster way to put them to “paper”, I’ll be ready once the muse hits. Incidentally, a writer acquaintance said there is no such thing as writer’s block but I disagree. Not everyone is confident about what they write. I mean, you can have a feeling that it might be relatable but it is difficult to get in the habit of setting aside the time after an 8 or 9 hour work day, when all you really want to do is prop your feet up and crack open a cold beer. (that would be called lack of discipline and I would be referring to moi) In this new year, I will try to be more diligent about making the time to write. Most of what I have is written in longhand so oddly, I”d like to continue that way and then transfer to a word processor. There’s something inspiring about sitting by the lake, looking at all of nature around me and then pulling out my notebook and pencil and letting the story unfold. That’s one of my very favorite things to do. Pencil and paper does not require a power source or a long battery life the way a laptop does. Just sayin’…

So my friends, I am BACK and I am ready to move forward with life and the writing process. Until next time, here’s to Spring and sunny days. Cheers!

lake lewisville

Christmas Memories…the best gift…

Happy Holidays, my friends! While it has been a few months since I last posted, in my defense, I’ve been a tad busy assimilating my new career path. I’m happy to say it’s going brilliantly and has been the most welcome present ever!

Like some of you, my budget is small this year and even with steady income, playing catch-up is difficult, as well as frustrating, and certainly doesn’t leave much room for gift giving. Even though he’s 21 now, I still slip into the “what-do-I-get-my-son??” mode at Christmas. It’s just a part of motherhood, I guess, and it stays with you, no matter how old your children are. Really makes me think back to when I was a little girl and all those wonderful Christmases I had. I’m sure my parents must have worked themselves silly to pay bills AND provide all those neatly wrapped presents we found under the tree on Christmas morning. We may not always have gotten what we wanted but we surely got what we needed, especially as we got older and had our own lives and our own families.

I remember one year, not long before she passed away, my mother sent Christmas gifts, though I knew she couldn’t really afford much. When I peeled away the gift wrap, my eyes immediately welled with tears because I knew exactly why she sent it and that it was sent with all the love she had in her heart. My gift was a small photo album, filled with photos of me from various stages of my life. Both my brothers got one too. It was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received from my mom. It was precisely what I needed at that particular time.

I think my favorite photos in the little album are the ones taken at Christmas time, probaby because I’m smiling like I’ve just won the lottery. (don’t I wish. lol) There’s the one where my brother and I went to chop down a tree on my mom’s farm, the one where I got decked out for Christmas Eve church services when I was about 17 or 18 and the one of me sitting in front of her tree, in my fake fur coat. They all bring back warm memories.

xmas tree chop church services

 

 

fake fur

As the years passed and I came to have a family of my own, I wanted to create new memories for my son. We were a little unit of three and it was important to me to start my own traditions that we could share and enjoy. That, however, would prove to be more difficult than I thought. There were many years with just a few gifts, most of which we bought for our son and also those his grandparents provided. It helped that I worked a retail job because I got a discount on all my purchases. But even then, there were happy moments without a grand assemblage of packages under the little tree…

xmas unwrap  cute christmas

This year? Well…it’s not going to be a scene from a Lifetime movie, I can assure you. No steaming mug of hot cocoa while I wrap presents or baking mass quantities of sugar cookies or flaky-crusted pies. Yes, there will be a dinner but nothing extravagant. I only made a couple dozen cookies and planning on a cherry cheesecake but no over the top goodies. The only tree in the entire house is the one I received at my company Christmas party, which I keep on top of my rolltop desk:

 

 

charlie brown xmas

Yes, there have been a few lean years and 2013 will be no exception. Still…I’m blessed to have a job, a roof over my head and relatively good health. Oh sure, I could obssess over what I can’t do or don’t have and allow that to ruin my favorite time of year…but I won’t. Instead, I choose to remember back to when I was a young girl and how magical Christmas was. My parents had purchased a beautiful 6 ft. artificial tree around 1959, when my eldest brother was but a wee lad. It was well made, to be sure, and we decorated that tree year after year with tinsel and school-made decorations, little flocked teddy bear ornaments , shiny globes of different colors dotted all over the branches, glittery ornaments, strings of colored lights and anything else that caught my mother’s eye that she thought would look good. And always an angel as a tree topper. *sigh* I loved that tree. Most years, there were so many presents under the tree, they brushed the bottom of the branches! How my parents managed all those gifts and kept the bills paid too is beyond me. All I know is they sure made us smile. Whether it was the GI Joe for my eldest brother, the VertiBird for my middle brother, or the Barbie tent that made me leap for joy, we were grinning from ear to ear, my brothers and I.

More often than not, we’d make a trek across town to visit aunts and uncles, dragging just one gift along with us to compare with our cousins’ Christmas booty. I liked the treks because of the food. Oh…the food!! Turkey and ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, candied yams, fruit salads, green beans, all sorts of pies, divinity candy, sweet tea…you name it, we probably ate it.

All that is in the past now. Mama and daddy are gone, I haven’t seen my brothers in ages and Christmas will pass with barely a whisper for me. But y’know what? It doesn’t matter. I’m okay with my little Charlie Brown tree and it’s smattering of decorations,  because that isn’t what I see when I look at it. I see all the wonderful Christmases I’ve shared with my family, the smiles and laughter with aunts, uncles and cousins. I see the joy on my son’s face when he tore open the gift wrap and found the very thing he asked Santa to bring. I see the big, beautiful tree that meant so much to my mother, who insisted on putting it up every year, until her health and living space would no longer allow it. That’s what I see. That’s what I remember. And it makes me smile…like I did as a little girl.

little santa

So, be good to each other. Be thankful for what you have, and when you find yourself in a bit of a funk, remember the things that made you smile, not the ones that didn’t. God Bless you all…

merry-christmas

Good news!

Hello, my friends! I bear good tidings and good news! I finally found a job!! <cue applause> It’s been a long time coming and though I’m very appreciative of both the temporary/contract positions I’ve held and the unemployment benefits I’ve received, NOTHING compares to getting up every morning, knowing your job isn’t gone in 60 days (or less)

I was very happy at the last title company I was assigned to but unfortunately, the work slowed as the interest rates rose so I had to be let go. Made my resume look suspicious but the real estate market has been rather…wishy-washy lately, at least from an escrow point of view. So I am currently working as HR support (Human Resources, if you’re not familiar with the lingo) and tomorrow begins my first full week. I can’t EVEN tell you how excited I am to be moving into a completely different industry, but one in which I believe my past experience will be an asset.

The only aspect that gave me cause to sigh is the benefits. While unemployed, I purchase dental/vision benefits through Safeguard (a subsidiary of MetLife) because it was relatively inexpensive and I could manage the premiums with the amount of benefits I was receiving (cost is $23.16 per month for me and my 20 yr old son). However, I never found any reasonable medical benefits. Because my current benefits package at work don’t yet include vision, I have to retain my Safeguard plan to get my contact lenses. BUT, if I purchase medical coverage outside the realm of my employer, I get “dinged” for it, under the national healthcare plan from our current federal administration. I am NOT a happy bunny where that’s concerned but what can I do? Perhaps it is cheaper through my employer and my son has found employment too, though he hasn’t started yet. I’ve advised him to enroll so he won’t have to get hit for $95 when he files his tax return. Yes, I said $95. That’s our penalty for not having healthcare coverage. Can’t remember where I read that but I was like, “are you kidding me??”

But enough about all that. I’ve made progress on one of my manuscripts and am determined to have it finished before my best friend’s wedding in November. Then I can begin typing it up and get it submitted. I’m also hoping to have enough saved for a new laptop before December so I can type up the latest work of fiction I’ve been working on. Nothing written out yet but character descriptions and bits & bobs of things I want to include for dialogue but I think it will be good! I also have another fictions work that has to be written but all in due course. Most important is that I have begun to do something besides being down in the mouth all the time.

Well, it’s time for me to get to work on said fiction but I wanted to give everyone a little update since I’ve been absent for so long.

Until next time…

Peace, love & hair grease, y’all!!

Friends in cool places

Well, Summer is finally here and folks everywhere are enjoying a day at the pool or the beach,  splashing around, having snacks and getting some sun. Before they know it, the time has come to round up the fam, gather their belongings and head home. They slide out of the car, spent from their day of frolic and sun, unlock the front door and are greeted by a blast of deliciously cold air as they cross the threshold. Ahhhhh! Only that didn’t happen to me. Not with my luck lately.

Sunday was a pretty laid back morning. I got up and made a lo-cal brunch, scarfed it down while still in my jammies and watched a little tube. I wasn’t aware that anything was amiss so when I walked to the back of the house to chill with the dogs, I noticed Roadie (the Boston terrier) spread out in the hall. It’s cooler there and he does that from time to time. Hey, he’s 70 in doggy years so who am I to begrudge him that? So I scratched his belly, massaged his scruff and went to pet HRH Princess Poof-Poof (my French bulldog, Sassy). It seemed a bit warm in the house but still cool enough that it didn’t warrant suspicion.

Around 2pm, my ex’s mother comes to tell me that she noticed the A/C compressor wasn’t running. Well that would explain the warming trend. We only knew of one person who might be able to help us on such short notice: the father of one of my son’s friends. He confirmed  our worst fear: the thing was out of commission. Sweet baby Jesus, is there anything else that could go wrong?? This, we didn’t need. I mean, it’s bad enough that I’m not working but we’re all just barely making ends meet, the house is literally falling apart and now this??  *sigh*

We kept the fan on so it would at least circulate air through the vents but it was a safe bet nobody would be standing over a vent trying to get some warm air up their pant leg. We opened a few windows but there wasn’t much of  a breeze. I was most concerned about the dogs (and yes, my 75 yr old MIL)  because he’s 10 and she’s 11 and I have no way to pay for the vet bill if I had to rush them over. So I got a washcloth, ran it under some cold tap water and wiped them down every so often. I got their faces, gently inside their ears,their little doggy “armpits” and the pads of their feet. What else could I do? I made sure their water dish was filled and kept one out on the front porch, where I sat with them, just to get them of the house, which was getting worse by the minute (or so it seemed).

Since it was too hot to cook inside, I made brats and burgers on the grill and honey, I’m gonna tell ya, I was sweatin’ like a hooker in church! Whew!! I didn’t perspire, no I was SWEATING.  As the day wore on, we managed as best we could. I had a couple Bud Light Lime 7 ouncers to help me out and watched Doc Martin on my phone on the front porch, the pooches keeping me company. I didn’t bother with the telly because it was too hot in my bedroom, even with the ceiling fan on full. Designers can talk all the smack they want about ’em but thank goodness for ceiling fans, I say!

I finally decided to lay down and attempt to sleep around 11pm so I grabbed a                       chaise cushion, a sheet and the bolster pillow from the dog bed and slapped it down in the living room, right in front of the screen door. I wanted to at least have a breeze since it was pretty cool outside. Well, I tossed and turned and sweated some more. I kept drifting off but would wake up again, miserable and drenched. Roadie finally came to wake me up around 4:30am Monday so he could go do his business and my good sense took over. Here’s where I spent the next several hours:

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It looks rough but I have to say, it was wonderful!! Reminded me of when I was but a wee lass and my brothers and I spent time on a huge dairy farm of my parents’ friends. I had the sheet all pulled up to my face and the breeze was so cool and strong, I could feel the way it  rippled the sheet against my body and slept so comfortably. Oh yeah, Roadie was there with me the whole time.

When I woke up later, around 10 am, I got dressed, poured myself a Coke and took my lap desk and the cushion to the front porch so I could at least job hunt and make good use of the day. I had everything I could think of out there, including an extension cord so I could charge my phone if need be. Yes, it was still warm but again, there was a breeze so it helped. This was my “workstation”

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We stayed there most of the afternoon, until about 3:30 when my son’s friend’s dad came back over. Seems he had a simple fix to get us back on track and if it worked, maybe…just maybe…we’d have A/C again.  It was tedious and he was sweating profusely in the blazing heat but by 5pm, he had the compressor running again. Woot!! How long will it last? I have no clue but I went around closing every dadgum window in record time. It was still too hot to  cook so we had meatball subs from Subway. I totally wrecked my diet but celebrated with a couple bottles of Bud Light Lime (the 12 oz size this time). It takes several hours to cool off 2,000 square feet but when it was nice and comfy, I finally ran myself a bath to wash the funk off from the previous day. Why bother when you know all you’ll do is sweat? Yes, I chose to be a nasty, sweaty mess for an entire 24 hours. But oh, how lovely it was to shampoo my hair and bask in the glory of Yardley of London English Lavender soap. It’s the little things, folks.

Now here’s the remarkable part: he didn’t want to charge us ANYthing. Nope. He just wanted to help a friend who was in need. Do you know how rare that is these days?? People always want something and I get that but he didn’t want anything. Talk about a blessing. Well, my MIL paid him a little something anyway, even though I know she couldn’t afford to. Anyone else would have charged 3 times what she gave him, if not more. But here’s what I realized: we’re blessed in the oddest of ways and can make do if we need to, but blessed, nonetheless. There may be lots of things we wish we had or did or could do, if only we had the money. But when a guy like that comes along and out of the kindness of his heart rescues us (if you’ve been in TX in June, you’ll totally get that) when he didn’t have to…well, that’s truly a blessing in disguise.

So the next time unfortunate circumstances befall you, it’s okay to get bummed out or fuss about it. But then you need to sit back and think of the times when it could have been worse and out of the blue, you got what you needed. Those are blessings, my friends. You just have to notice them and recognize them, and then be thankful. That’s how your blessings will continue.

 

Until next time…

peace sign heart_clipart_love & hair grease, y’all!!

 

 

Spring cleaning…of the mind

After an absence of 2 whole months (well, almost), I figured it was time for me to limber up my fingers and give y’all a shout. Yes, I still have a pulse. I’m too stubborn to just toss away my blog after all this time. However, I’ve been avoiding  lots of things lately, not just this.

Remember a while back when I said my laptop was screwed and I needed to take it to the shop? Yeah, well, I  never did. At first, I couldn’t afford it, then I switched jobs and could afford it, then…well, life got in the way and it fell to the wayside. I was too busy working and living that 2nd shift life. The job contract ended in January and I lived on some of the money I had from that for a while before my unemployment benefits kicked in. While I’m grateful for those, they don’t even come close to paying the bills and having leftover for emergencies. But again, I’m grateful.

The good news is, the housing market seems to have picked up because I can see apartments being built in my area (2 big luxury complexes that I know of) and land being developed to homes to be built, although on the latter, it’s the field right behind my house. Speaking of which, I still have to live a Sonny & Cher existence (i.e. with my ex) because there’s no way in Hades I can afford to move. Not only that, the car I was driving is no more because the aforementioned ex had an accident and it was not salvageable in regard to the money it would cost to fix it.  <insert wah-waaaah> I’m now driving his car and he’s borrowing a friend’s car but that will soon come to an end as well.  (SIDEBAR: the ex’s car is a 5-speed so it was interesting the first time I drove it.) So what are we going to do when he  no longer has his friend’s car to drive? I have no earthly idea but we’ll figure something out. And that is the story of my life. *sigh*

I hate for this post to be even the tiniest bit dark but for the past…oh, I dont’ know, 20 years or so, it seems like just when things go good for me, the other shoe drops and I’m going “…the HELL??” I mean, I have but a few measly chapters to write to finish my book and I haven’t done squat. After it’s done (in longhand form, I must add), I’ll  have to bring it to the library, along with my thumb drive and type it up since I don’t have a working laptop. Now if I had a steady job, I could save a little over about  a month and get a new one, or at the very least, last year’s model to save a few ducats. I have an idea for another book, fiction this time and although I have lots of the character stuff fleshed out, I haven’t even started writing it. I was happy to learn that Tyler Perry’s mind is just as active as mine when it comes to ideas but he has more discipline than I do and a much better frame of mind. I’m too worried about the house falling apart (which it is), finding a job and having a vehicle to get to a job and it stalls me mentally every time.

So what’s the problem? It’s a terrible and vicious circle when you know how to fix what’s wrong but you don’t have the tools at your disposal to fix it. Oh I know, lots of folks could give me advice and say “why don’t you do this?” or “why don’t you try that?” Because when your life overwhelms you sometimes, you get depressed and even if it isn’t really bad, it’s depression nontheless. I did start walking every other day back around the first of April and so far, I’ve been walking 15-20 miles per week. I dropped 10 lbs. but you can’t tell that to my thighs. They’re still staring at me in the mirror saying “Uhh… a little help here?” To the ladies who don’t have a bubble butt: you have NO idea the consternation that can cause if you’re in the BGB Club (Baby Got Back). Oy, I feel like Woody Allen, I have so much anxiety sometimes.  But, I take my 5-HTP and keep it movin’ as best I can. (an herbal alternative to Zoloft. For me, anyway)

On a more positive note, the weather is getting warmer and that means hitting the little beach close to my house. Even if I don’t swim (lakewater…eewww!), I like to sit in my chase with a good book or bring along my writing materials, in case I’m inspired. Anytime I’m near a body of water, I’m inspired but sometimes, I just look at my surroundings and smile…then I can write.

I also enjoy my two old dogs, Roadie and Sassy. They bring a bright spot to every day, although Roadie is getting whiny in his old age. LOL. The former is doing very well after his surgery in January and my Sassy-girl, well, she’s dealing with allergies by way of a bunch of skin blotches. Have to give her Benadryl to help clear it up but even that isn’t consistent. What can I say, my mind needs some Spring cleaning of its own. I suppose that’s what this particular post is all about.  I mean, s**t happens to everyone, right? This is the only way I can come to terms with mine and if y’all can relate, then that’s a good thing. At least you know you’re not the only one shaking your head, asking yourself  ‘how much more of this do I have to take?’

As for my immediate future, who knows what will happen? If I win the lottery, I’ll spend it wisely and if I don’t…I’m used to being broke so no big whoop. I’ll keep looking for work and something will turn up at the right moment, just like it always does. Until then,  George Michael says  “gotta have faith-a, faith-a, faith” so I reckon I will. Thanks for listening…  ; )

 

Until next time…

peace sign heart_clipart_love & hair grease, y’all!

 

Down by the lake…doin’ nothin’

Well, hello! Yes, it really is me. I believe this is the longest I’ve been on “leave” from my blog and it’s good to be back. Not a great deal has changed since the last post; I’m still looking for permanent work and dealing with life issues, some of which really put a whammy on my glass-is-half-full mentality. Nevertheless, I move forward in spite of (or perhaps because of) it.

Yesterday was a very stormy start to Easter, quite literally. I opted out of going to  church with my friend because I’d been sick the past couple days and didn’t want to ruin the sermon by my coughing, throat clearing and nose blowing, not to mention it would be rude and inconsiderate to the congregation to attend and possibly pass it off to them. So, after having a bit of a lie-in and listening to the rain, I decided to take my bag of manuscripts and a couple books down to the lake so I could write, read and enjoy the beautiful day when the sun finally came out.

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So this was my view all afternoon. I actually put on a light jacket due to the lake breeze. Oh it was WONderful!! I was still dealing with the last vestiges of a headache but was furiously writing down details for character background for some fiction I’m working on. It was supposed to be a short story but I feel like it will turn into more. Whatever the case, I’m glad my muse came to visit. Been a while.

After I was spent with the details, I gave my brain a rest, pulled the hood on my head and just laid  back to listen to my environment. Before I knew it, I was having an out-loud conversation with God. I do that a lot lately. I figured as long as I was trying to put my book(s) together, I may as well try to put my life together as well. There was no one close, other than the egrets and I didn’t think they’d mind. As I said, my life was a bit…oh…eventful in recent days. I needed some Divine assistance.

So, I took the Lord with me on a walk along the mental shores of my mind, whilst enjoying the cool breeze, tiny waves  lapping at the muddy lake’s edge, the birds chirping and a couple of dogs happily running around while their owner tried to call them back. I must say, when the dogs came over to my chaise, I wasn’t bothered in the least. They were all wet with lake water from swimming while their owners cast a line in to fish a few yards from me. Made me smile. Then they were gone and I was back to my state of bliss, my conversation with God over but the smile still on my face. I was lying there doing…nothing. And it  felt superb!!*sigh* It’s highly underrated.   <wink>

While I was chillin’ by the lake, doing nothing, it reminded me of an episode of The Waltons, “The Long Night” in which Grandpa Zeb is sick with longing to be with his Esther, who is in hospital. (in real life, Ellen Corby was recuperating from a stroke). He needs his special someone. Meanwhile, Elizabeth wants to have a someone to spend time with as well; her friend Aimee Godsey. But Aimee’s mother, Corabeth, doesn’t approve of little girls being tomboys and getting dirty, which is exactly what Elizabeth is and does. Corabeth tries to teach her daughter how to be a proper young lady by listening to classical music (music appreciation), needlepoint and learning French. Aimee is only allowed to perform “feminine and domestic endeavors”. But she just wants to be a little girl and do the same things Elizabeth does. So one night, she runs away from home…straight to Zeb Walton.

Aimee tells Zeb she’d like him to be her grandpa. She wants to be part of the family that lets a kid be a kid, in essence. So Grandpa takes Aimee back to Ike & Corabeth and explains to her that while she encouraged her refinement as a young lady, she’s neglected her education at just being a child. Aimee admits that she just wants to be like other kids and sometimes, do nothing. I know exactly what she means.

So Zeb reminds Corabeth of what it means to do…nothing:

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“Doin’ nothin’, Corabeth. Remember goin’ out on a Summer evenin’, lyin’ on the grass, just lookin’ up at the stars and you wonder…goin’ down, sittin’ along the banks of the creek, listenin’ to the  birds sing, the waters gurgle…or go runnin’ up on top of the highest mountain and look out across the valley and just wish someone you love was alongside of ya to share it? And then it comes across ya…the feelin’  ‘Oh how good it is to be ALIVE!’. That’s doin’ nothin’, Corabeth. In the long run, it is somethin’!” (Indeed Grandpa…indeed)

So if you find that your life seems to have a life of it’s own, take a day to collect yourself, your thoughts…talk to the Almighty and leave it all in His hands. And then, just do…nothin’. Because it really is somethin’.

peace dovePeace, y’all…

 

Until we meet again…

Hey y’all. Sorry I haven’t been around lately. As stated in my last post, it was a rather uneventful beginning to the new year. Not long after that post, the other shoe dropped (what is with those damn shoes anyway??) and I found out my work contract was cancelled. *sigh* Story of my life lately, eh? At any rate, as positive as I try to make this blog, I’m afraid I need to take a break until I have something positive to say. I don’t even feel all that ‘Mary Sunshine’. What I feel is ‘blah’ and depressed and like I want to sleep…alot. I feel as if my little engine that could, didn’t.

Not trying to be a Debbie Downer but I have such large gaps in between posts and this time, it isn’t because of my work hours or particular family crisis. No, I just plain feel like crap and until I get over myself, I need to stay away from posting anything that might bring someone else down. I did manage to get my document sent to the copyright office so that’s a plus and I’m still sussing out the details of my business, so I got that goin’ for me. I got the dog’s hernia taken care of (at a cost of almost $900 and paid the day before the above mentioned shoe dropped. Oy!) and he’s doing well and void of the troublesome prostate and also his um…”boys”. Yes, that’s expensive but I love that dog to bits. He and  my little French bulldog, Sassy provide the comfort I need because they don’t require anything-food, water and love. They’ve been there for me so why wouldn’t I be there for them?

Anyhoo, I just wanted to let you know what was happening and why it appears I don’t care about my  blog. I do…a lot. I care about me more though and until I get ME straightened out, I can’t possibly foist my Schlep-rock cloud of woe on you wonderful folks who drop by to read my p0stings.  This too, shall pass but until it does, I need time to sort myself. Thank you so much for all your support. It’s VERY much appreciated.

 

p.s. you can always email me by clicking the “Email me” icon on the menu to the right.  🙂

Out with the old, in with the New; Year, that is…

So…we survived the 12/21/12 Mayan thing. Now what?? Well, like the song says: it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life.  I may not be feeling good at this very moment (no, I didn’t drink too much) but I’m certain that will come along in due course.

My New Year’s not-so-rockin’ Eve was a tad lackluster but I had to work until 10pm and by the time I got home, it was almost 11pm. It’s a 31 mile commute but hey, the job is worth it. Anyway, when I got home,  I put on my camo jammies, cracked open a Guinness Black Lager and pondered my future, as we are wont to do on December 31st. I thought about 2012 and the tiny, but nonetheless significant (to me, at least) milestones that buoyed my hope: getting divorced, cutting a couple expenses, getting my own wireless account, finishing my manuscript (well…almost). There are still a few more items on the list but for the most part, I’ve made progress.  One of the high points was having my first professional article published. I was thrilled and humbled. I was also able to finally give my son a memorable Christmas, which had eluded me for quite some time plus, with the blessing of a good job in October, I was able to pass on the blessings and donate to a few local charities. That felt good!

But what about 2013, you say? Well, I’ve been thinking about that and I have an idea. Here goes:  this will be the year of How Can I? What Can I?  We all have hopes and dreams- all of us. The problem isn’t with having them as much as seeing them come to fruition. There is no straight path to a goal and certainly no set way or list of rules one must follow. Dreams are achieved in a zig-zaggy, winding sort of way. We get frustrated, sometimes (me? LOTS!) when either the dreams aren’t realized quickly enough or life throws us  a curve ball and we’re suddenly deflated. THAT’S when we have to ask ourselves, “How can I?”  “What can I?”

Okay, so the aforementioned curve ball has bruised your plan a little. So what?? It happens. But you have to ask yourself ‘How can I reach my goal from this point? What can I do to realize my dream with what I have at my disposal?’ You adapt, that’s how! Simple as that! Oh, don’t misunderstand, this mindset does not happen overnight, neither does it mean your life is gravy. It means you enjoy the lemonade your life-lemons gave you and keep it movin’. And trust me when I tell you life has been stop and start for me lately. Kinda like when you learn to drive a stick shift and haven’t quite mastered the clutch thing? Yeah…herky- jerky.

So…for 2013, I will adapt and figure out how best to achieve my laundry list of goals with the resources I have thus far and the brains God gave me. It’s still gonna be a long row to hoe but I’m confident that good things will happen this year. Now…how about you?

 

p.s. If you follow Hillbilly Debutante, check out the author’s new page on Facebook, ‘365 Days of Random Acts of Kindness’. I like to refer to it as 365RAK. I am the Random Lady and I totally approve that page!!   : )

2013

‘Til next time…

peace sign heart_clipart_love & hair grease, y’all!!

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